Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
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