i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
