I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize