I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
