Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
