Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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