I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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