i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize