I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
she woke up with a sticky ear
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
