fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
