I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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