I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
