Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
You dont lie about slip and slides
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
