people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
My hand turned me down
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
