I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
