Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I think my nap took me to another dimension
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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