I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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