his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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