Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I smell like Dick and happiness
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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