seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
COCAINE IS GR8
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
