Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
