You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
