Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
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