okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
