I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Fuck appropriateness.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
