I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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