I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
is it fun? or sober?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
