Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
