Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Randomize
