oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Randomize
