bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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