Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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