why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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