Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
