i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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