I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Your penis caused this!
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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