Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
