My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
