Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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