babies were throwing up all over the place
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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