i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
