this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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