i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize