Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
