we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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