I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
