I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
