i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
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