So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
