I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
