so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Redeem this text for a blowjob
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
