i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
