I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Plan B is the new Plan A
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
