i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
