question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
