So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
You did what with his pubic hair?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
