dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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