just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
