Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
