jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Randomize
