but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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