no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
this will be a night to untag.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
