Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Welp...herpes.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
wow bdsm is so cute
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