whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
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