Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
kristin has been a bad kristin
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
